Are YOU dealing with a third-life crisis?
Everybody talks about the midlife crisis that happens after age 50 when retirement is close and we’re all freaking out, but nobody points out that until then we still have some challenges to deal with. When we were young, we were forced to make some decisions regarding our future that were very important. And there was a certain pressure about that because not many people do what’s best. Now, in all honesty, at the age of 20, you’re still a kid, and a sense of lostness and bad decisions is completely normal.
Then comes what we call a third-life crisis which targets people over the age of 36 up to 40-45. Could this crisis be harder than the midlife crisis? Or just milder? Let’s see what this is about and the signs you’re probably going through.
You started going to therapy
Therapy was formerly stigmatized, but today it’s seen as a necessary component of leading the best possible life. When it comes to finding your significant other, it’s even considered a badge of honor: according to data research, most people over the age of 40 prefer to date someone who has already embraced the idea of therapy or had therapy by now.
If you’re considering therapy for the first time in your life, it’s probably more indicative of progress than a third-life crisis, since you’ve realized that you might need to work through some issues to make major life changes at this stage. Well done! Be proud of you!
You’re probably questioning yourself a lot
Are you feeling a bit weird lately and you’re questioning everything that happens to you? This might also be a sign that you’re probably going through a third-life crisis. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. As adults, at some point in our lives, we reach a crossroads stage in which we are asking many questions about why and how this is happening.
Having a set full of questions that may not have an immediate answer can also be a positive thing, allowing you to reflect on what you want or what things need to be done to change your life for the better.
If you’re going to therapy, you can discuss this matter and see if during the meetings you can give answers to your questions.
You’re considering changing your career
A third-life crisis may occur in your professional life if you find yourself browsing through LinkedIn, DMing recruiters, hiring a career coach, negotiating a more flexible work schedule with your current employer, or even researching a different career path entirely on Google.
Many people who are going through a third-life crisis are actively thinking about changing their career path. If, at the age of 20, you were just at the beginning of the journey and you didn’t know how your life would be in 10 years, now that you are braver and more skilled, it might be worth it to take some risks.
You have a constant desire for change
Same as midlife crisis, a third-life crisis may spark sudden desires for change such as moving to a new place, a new town, picking up old hobbies, or starting new ones. Sometimes we’re just bored of routine and if we don’t find a solution for the issue and get out of it as soon as possible it can easily lead to more serious things like depression.
You’re not really happy about your love life
Dealing with a third-life crisis may lead to unhappiness in your love life. The common story that most of us were told as kids was that we would grow up, marry someone, have children, and lead happily ever after. Yes, some of us may have wondered about this at first, especially if we had gone through a coming-out process or a divorce from our parents, but the truth is that a lot of us date to find someone who is a good fit for them.
Our perspectives shift when someone close to us declares they are getting married, expecting their first child, and so on. Or maybe you’ll be shocked to see a couple who seemed powerful divorcing a year after the wedding. Everything we witness in life may influence our thoughts a lot. And if you are having a third-life crisis, you might feel things differently from this point of view too.
It’s important to understand what works for you without thinking about what society wants. Put your feelings and emotions in the first place and strive to find the truth about yourself. What do you want, and what makes you happy?
We could experience waves of change in life, shifting from one large wave to another. Although experiencing crises from time to time is rather common, it should not put you in a difficult circumstance. Learn to accept the changes and make adjustments that will benefit your well-being. Check out Transition Decisions: How to Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Make Your Next Move if therapy is now too expensive. It’s available on Amazon for just $10 for the Kindle version and has received excellent ratings!
Photo by Gladskikh Tatiana from Shutterstock
You’re adopting pets
Getting back to the love life topic, once upon a time everyone expected to be married at 35-40, right? But now times have changed, and maybe you just got out of a relationship that didn’t work, and now you’re 40 and you’re single, and this might push you right into the arms of a third-life crisis.
It might sound hard to believe, but according to various studies, adopting a pet after a breakup can do a lot of good to your brain and have a ton of psychological benefits.
Your reading habits changed too
The only hobby that may transport us to a different reality and help us escape the day-to-day life is reading. And most probably by now, you’ve read quite a few books that have changed your life. If reading thrillers or love stories was your thing back in the day, now you see yourself looking for personal development ones or books that tell you stories about traveling alone and offer you advice on safe places to visit while you’re on your own.
What can you do if you’re dealing with a rough third-life crisis?
A third-life crisis, similar to a midlife one, is challenging to overcome, but it’s essential to take specific steps to navigate it smoothly. Try to make time for self-reflection and be curious about yourself. It’s never too late to discover your needs.
Write a list of questions to ask yourself and answer them honestly when ready. Most importantly, try not to judge yourself too harshly and never rush into finding solutions! Try to define your core values because it’s never too late to (re)discover yourself.
It’s important to try and figure out the main purpose(s) of your life and if there is something that makes you unhappy, try and see if you change it. Maybe it’s about traveling, picking up old hobbies, meeting new people, finding a lover, or even changing jobs and moving abroad. All of them sound good if that’s what you need.
Be gentle and accept yourself!
And since we’ve also talked about all sorts of life crises and how challenging every chapter is, maybe it would be fit to also check out a Few Things about Retirement That Not Many People Consider.
